Aiden reached two pounds last night!  He weighed one and a half pounds at birth, and finally gained half a pound.  It’s important to remember he lost weight after birth, so he had more to make up for than just a half pound.  And he struggled with his feedings the past few weeks.  Each setback affects his weight.

Aiden continues to have desats and the doctors are trying different settings on the CPAP machine to see what works. He is going up to 9 mLs of feeding tonight and we are hoping he can accept it.  The goal is to get him to 12 mLs (which would be max feed) by 5/17.

I’m starting to realize the difference between frightening and just normal scary things that happen in the NICU.  Like when his heartbeat drops to 50 and nurses are scrambling to rub his back and remind him to breathe.  That, I don’t like.  But if he desats down for a short time and it comes back up, it’s something I can accept.

The long term concern about his oxygen drops (desats) are the effects on his brain and vital organs.  The doctors want the optimal breathing option.  I get it, I don’t want any long term effects on our son.  But it’s also not feasible to expect him to be a perfect breathing baby when he wasn’t supposed to use his lungs for three more months.  So I can’t stress every single time that damn alarm goes off.  I know it has to be a part of his process.

Being a NICU parent is exhausting.  But I think of how much Aiden’s little body is fighting to survive and it gives me strength to keep going.  I am literally counting down the days (76 to be exact) to when we can bring him home!